It was all my idea. When I got called to be the RSP I suggested that we do some visiting instead of sitting in meetings every Sunday. So once a month the leadership of our ward divides and conquers and visits new people.
I went to see two sisters on Sunday with one of my counselors. The first woman, Mildred, was 90 years old and lived in my town. I expected she would live in a rest home/senior citizen complex but when we drove up it was a single family house. We parked. Walked up the driveway. Knocked on the door. A woman answered. I asked if Mildred was there and immediately it was clear from the woman's angry face that our visit was over. She said, "She is deceased."
The woman never opened the door so our conversation was through a thick glass screen door. I was embarrassed. It was awkward. We thanked her and left.
I knew I needed to clarify things (not to mention apologize) to Mildred's daughter (I found the obituary which listed her children and one of them lives in Lexington and whitepages.com confirmed the address was the same). [Note: Mildred died in June of 2007.] I didn't want her to think we were the Avon ladies. I mailed a letter to Mildred's daughter yesterday letting her know that I was the president of the women's organization in the Arlington Ward of the LDS Church and that we only wanted to meet Mildred and welcome her. And, I apologized for not explaining who we were on Sunday and offered sympathy for the loss of her mother.
I feel like if this ever happens again, I'm prepared to handle it better than I did on Sunday. It's part of the RSP learning curve.
Note: I didn't tell Mildred's daughter this, but I had a similar experience when I called to cancel my brother's Sports Illustrated subscription. The guy asked me how I knew my brother wasn't interested in receiving the magazine any longer and I said, "He's dead."
Another note: We were told by the upstairs neighbor of the second woman we tried to visit that she had moved over a year ago. I've got issues about our church record keeping. :)