I went to see two sisters on Sunday with one of my counselors. The first woman, Mildred, was 90 years old and lived in my town. I expected she would live in a rest home/senior citizen complex but when we drove up it was a single family house. We parked. Walked up the driveway. Knocked on the door. A woman answered. I asked if Mildred was there and immediately it was clear from the woman's angry face that our visit was over. She said, "She is deceased."
The woman never opened the door so our conversation was through a thick glass screen door. I was embarrassed. It was awkward. We thanked her and left.
I knew I needed to clarify things (not to mention apologize) to Mildred's daughter (I found the obituary which listed her children and one of them lives in Lexington and whitepages.com confirmed the address was the same). [Note: Mildred died in June of 2007.] I didn't want her to think we were the Avon ladies. I mailed a letter to Mildred's daughter yesterday letting her know that I was the president of the women's organization in the Arlington Ward of the LDS Church and that we only wanted to meet Mildred and welcome her. And, I apologized for not explaining who we were on Sunday and offered sympathy for the loss of her mother.
I feel like if this ever happens again, I'm prepared to handle it better than I did on Sunday. It's part of the RSP learning curve.
Note: I didn't tell Mildred's daughter this, but I had a similar experience when I called to cancel my brother's Sports Illustrated subscription. The guy asked me how I knew my brother wasn't interested in receiving the magazine any longer and I said, "He's dead."
Another note: We were told by the upstairs neighbor of the second woman we tried to visit that she had moved over a year ago. I've got issues about our church record keeping. :)
12 comments:
WELL, you certainly are helping the clerk of your ward!
Way to get out there Pres. EP!
(i'm laughing) I LOVE your stories. "avon lady" you crack me up.
Don't laugh too hard, but I have been an Avon lady and had a horrible experience on the phone with a guy whose wife had called me to order Avon. The guy didn't believe me and treated me like an annoying telemarketer. I hate those uncomfortable moments. I'm sorry you had one.
You are a brave woman!
The church world wide has record problems, good luck!
Yes, least favorite part of the job. Another RSP in a neighboring ward had to clean up 350 names!!!! Can you imagine? In Michigan. I usually visited 14 a month.
I have to say, not totally related, but I told a telemarketer that my father was dead once. (He's not) I got sick of people saying our name wrong, and sick of telemarketers in general. I actually pretended to cry. Now I understand it was a mean thing to do, but it felt really good.
sweet pea doesn't seem so sweet!
(laughing)
You're WAY ahead of me on the RSP curve...
:)
EP, I'm the membership clerk in our ward and believe me it is some job to keep up with members, alive or dead. I follow the obituary page in the paper everyday, I send out letters with "Address Correction Service" requested every so often, call on the phone, anything I can to try to keep our ward roster up to date. I go to the Court House to obtain marriges, divorces,deaths. The V.T.s and H.T.s are a good source if they will get out beat the 'Bushes' so to speak.
It's almost a thankless job but I've been doing it for many years and I actually enjoy it. I was a mail carrier for many years and that has helped me alot. Maybe thats why I've served under 7 or 8 bishops as a clerk or asstistant clerk.
Blessings,
Billy
(Carla's & Gigi's Dad)
Wow! Awkward. Love awkward moments. :) You're the RSP BOMB! xoxo
Thanks for your nice comments on my blog. What a dedicated RSP girl. I've been there before and honestly hope to never be there again but I do serve where I'm called. You know how that goes...
e.p., you know I thought about making a comment about my dad when I read this post. He didn't say anything about it be he had a phone friend at SLC head quarters at one time cause he called out there so much. He's always been a great example of fulfilling (sp?) your calling. :o) heart, c.a.
Oh, this is sad, but you handled it wonderfully.
When people used to call our house for my dad (who really was deceased), I used to say, "Sorry. He's dead." I liked the shock that it gave people. Sick humor, but he was dead.
I love reading your stories....
Awkward/sad but you handled it really well. I can relate on the records. Like putting together an ever-changing puzzle. Poor RSPs! Poor clerks!
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