It was 8 years ago today that my brother Robes (Robert Pitchforth Patton) died of a brain tumor. I still count the years and months and weeks and days and I still miss him terribly.
When "Robby" was 13 months old, I was born; rocking his little world. A baby sister. A
redheaded baby sister. He wasn’t the only child for very long. And, on September 28, 1998, eighteen months and three days after his brain cancer diagnosis, Robes’ death rocked my world. I won’t ever forget it. Staying up two entire nights, true vigils, watching over him as he slipped into a coma and then died.
It wasn’t like the movies. The noises were strange. His vital signs raced and his organs shut down. His skin changed. He picked at his clothes. He became weaker and weaker. He was confused and he hallucinated. His body and mind failed him after a short 39 years. A lover of gourmet food and an excellent cook--being spoon fed green jell-o. Bedridden for weeks--a man with a passion for travel. And, a writer by trade--robbed of his keen mind. How does that happen to a healthy young man? Why does that happen to a healthy young man?
our first Christmas together---the day he entered the MTC in 1978---at the NBA All-Star game in NYC in February 1998I’ve never felt sadness like I felt when it was clear that he was dying. I remember feeling the steady stream of tears down my face and the sick feeling in my stomach. It was Monday morning. We huddled around his hospital bed in their home; me, his wife Kim, her mother Ann, and his college friend Rick Egan. The three kids were still sleeping. We were watching and waiting. Whispering to each other about what was happening. Counting his pulse and respirations. The shock and disbelief that he was dying right in front of us. His strange gasps for breath that none of us anticipated. Was he fighting to stay with us?
Two days before, with a frightened look on his face, he said loudly, They can’t take me without your permission. Who was he talking about? Relatives? Friends? Were they in the room? Did he recognize them? Kim went over to him, rubbed his head and said, You have my permission. I told you it was alright to go. It was surreal. Robes died 8 years ago today at 7:00am.
I think about Robes every day. Plenty of things remind me of him (Bruce Springsteen, the Miami Heat, Tito's Tacos, French cheese and chocolate, VW bugs and Levis 501 jeans to name a few). His three kids Ian, Jamel, and Adrienne remind me of him. They were 11, 8 and 3 when their dad died. It makes me so sad that they have been robbed of having their father raise them. He was crazy about his kids. I wanted Robes to take Ian to BYU-Hawaii last month and to help him plan his trip to Costa Rica last year. I want Robes to take Jamel to Europe and scout camp and go bike riding with him. I wish Robes could take Adrienne on Daddy Daughter Dates and watch her practice the baritone and tell her about attending junior high to ease her mind as she settles into middle school. He would be so proud of his kids. They all resemble him (except that the boys are both over six feet tall!). A few years ago Adrienne was so happy that her freckle pattern was the same as her dad’s at her age.
I don’t ever want to forget Robes' great example, his many talents and his love of life. I know I will be with him again but in the meantime I'm sad that he's not here to be a husband, father, brother and son.
Patton family Christmas card in the 60's
Disneyland in the 70's
Portland, OR - January 1998
It was 8 years ago today that my brother Robes (Robert Pitchforth Patton) died of a brain tumor. I still count the years and months and weeks and days and I still miss him terribly.
Tonight we held a memorial service for Laraine Wilkins who died from injuries sustained in a car accident in Idaho three weeks ago. She and her daughter lived in the Arlington Ward a few years ago and have recently been living in Salt Lake City. A number of us wanted to have a memorial service here. It was so nice. Four people prepared remarks and then a few others shared memories of Laraine. There was a vocal solo "Be Still My Soul" and then the women sang "The Lord is My Shepherd". I suggested that someone videotape the service, which they did. I know Laraine's family will appreciate hearing the memories and tributes shared tonight. Laraine will be missed by her many Boston friends. And we are all hoping and praying that her daughter continues to recover.
This is a picture of my Neighborly Neighbor who is soon to deliver #3. She looks awesome!
wo nights. That's a few cookies shy of 38 dozen. I knew he would be able to get them into Ground Zero to people that would appreciate a homemade treat. I called him and told him I had something for him to take and asked him to come over. I put the cookies in shopping bags. He saw how many there were and said, "I can't take these." I told him, "You are taking these cookies. I don't care who you give them to but you are taking them." 
My friend's mother Sheryl is in town helping out while my friend's husband is recovering from surgery. I thought Sheryl might like a break so asked if she wanted to go for a drive. Then I thought a day trip would be more fun so I asked her if she had ever been to Maine. She said, "Maine is the only state I haven't been to." Uh...WE'RE GOING!
and finding other people's clothes mixed in with my laundry. I said "ewwwwwwwwwwwww" when I found this sock in my drawer yesterday and my first inclination was to throw it away. Then I realized that someone may be looking for the other sock in their pair. So, I'll tip-toe into the laundry room later tonight and leave The Sock.
Almost every morning someone is playing music at Alewife, the subway station. Often it is a duo playing guitar and saxophone. They are really good musicians. Takes one to know one (I played the clarinet in jr. high and high school---hahaha!!). They sell CDs and have their music cases open for donations. It's part of the Boston subway scene. Today the guys were playing a peppy version of "My Favorite Things". I had a skip in my step and was humming along...and thinking of my favorite things (in no particular order)...friends, family, reading on the subway, baking, sharing my baked goods, shooting (pictures), writing notes, mailing articles to friends, getting letters from my pen pals, making cards, watching movies, sightseeing in New England, my big window, my red refrigerator, red toaster, red bread box, red spatula and red kitchen aid, rain, riding my bike, running shoes, antiquing in Maine, quilting, finding cool 30's reproduction fabric, staying up late, talking on the phone, planning activities, apple picking, eating lobster, ice cream, and of course blogging!
