My friend's senior-in-high-school daughter had a conversation with her (Mormon) Bishop recently about going to BYU and he told her that her first priority was to "find a husband".
Really? Is it still 1970?
Here's what I would tell a Mormon senior in high school (girl OR boy) going to BYU (or any college):
--This time in your life will be the easiest time for you to get an education.
--Learn to be independent.
--Write letters home (not emails or texts).
--Ask your family to write letters to you. You will treasure them.
--Try to attend as many international cinema movies, devotionals/talks, cultural events, sporting events and special events that you can.
--Make lots of friends. Don't worry about them having everything in common with you. You will be friends with some of these people for the rest of your life.
--Don't be afraid to end a dating relationship if it's not right (and you see "red flags").
--Learn how to live a well balanced life.
--Don't forget about fruits and vegetables.
--Keep a journal and write something every day.
--Use good manners.
--Prepare to make important Temple covenants and live a "Temple life".
copyright Ellen Patton 2012
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18 comments:
And do a spring or summer term (my biggest BYU regret, and Clarke's too)
And if you have to get a job - work at BYU. Not the most money but lots of fun and you meet awesome people - no matter what the job is. My friend met her husband on grounds crew!
And study at the BYU library. It is an amazing place and a great way to meet people.
And take classes for the professor NOT the time. You will have much better classes this way.
BYU is so fun.
Oh and the bookstore will give you free samples of fudge. I
I vote EP for Bishop.
and I'd also like to vote for YOU to raise my kids :-) and teach them all these good things.
This is why you're my favorite person. I get so sick of people at BYU who are there just to get married, not to have fulfilling life experiences and to earn a good education.
I love this. And the bishop's advice doesn't surprise me, unfortunately...
Next calling: YW President!
Absolutely! I am quoting you!!!!!
Great advice! And telling an 18 year old to look for a husband!? Ick!
My favorite advice is "Some people neglect the most important part of their college education by studying too much".
You're the best, Ellen.
My bishop at BYU recommended that you neither hunt for, nor hide from, a future spouse. Just carry on and live a good life, come what may. I thought that was sound, logical advise. I second everything on your list, too (though I know I'd have a hard time actually doing the write letters and write something every day in a journal parts!) ♥
I love your list! I would also add getting a job while in school (preferable at BYU).
As a side note - your list would probably end in her getting married faster than "finding a husband" would. But more importantly she will grow and be a well rounded, mature, women.
hmmm that's why I didn't go to BYU:) Kidding. USU is where it's at. I agree with your list 100%. College was one of the most memorable, fulfilling, fun times of my life.
Finding a husband is an added bonus of going to college I suppose, but the first priority? ha ha ha.
Great list Ellen!!
Maybe they should print it in the the New Era!
amen and amen.
preach it sister patton.
Oh Ms. Patton,
It is conversations like this one that set us back 50 years.
Living here in Utah, the mormon capital of the world, I sometimes hang my head in shame.
P.S.
Because now I'm mad.
Our school used to have BYU students do their internships with us, luckily this is no more.
I cannot tell you how many we hired only to have them leave when they married and were pregnant.
"This was just something to do until........" was heard far to many times.
I will now step off the soapbox...next?
I remember a YW lesson when I was an advisor and the President wanted to enforce getting a husband rather than an education. I strongly disagreed-- it is so important to get an education and if a husband comes along the way sobeit.
Great advise, all of these. I tell Millievanillie that she is to never fore go her own education for her husbands, if she marries while at college. She is to inform him that he will have to drop out and put her through, or they will need to go at the same time, or wait until she graduates to marry. She tells me not to worry, and I believe her.
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